Dat Was Later Dan Dit (2021)
video, sound, text

Dat Was Later Dan Dit (2021) is a film about (trauma) recovery. The video reflects on a period in which I quit school to work on myself. The video confronts me with what I have been doing in order to deal with my past, (i.e. partying, drugs, smoking, self help books, medication, etc.). The conclusion of the film represents the actual motivation behind these actions, ultimately I just want to feel normal, to simply eat ‘een broodje kaas met ham en ei’.

The video is made out of footage and sounds that I have filmed and taped over several years, all on random occasions. I combined these images with videos that I have found online, that are free to use due to them being extremely old...
With this combination I want to emphasize the interplay between past and present. It shows how the past will always influence the present, you cannot be in the present without the past, eventhough that is the goal. Your decisions are always decided by your past, and memories will always remain your memories, the trick is knowing how to deal with them.

Every video and sound used is not made for the film itself. I did this to remain close to the actual reality of this period. 

TW: sexual abuse & substance abuse